fix

i wanted to fix this, but you didn't understand me. maybe the only way that we can fix this is to talk to each other, but you were having none of that. you push me away, made me feel guilty (moving to san jose, i told you to follow your own path, wrapping your vacations around mine...well screw you, that's a cheap guilt trip).

so maybe the best thing is to stop believing that our relationship can be fixed, can be stronger than before, can be renewed. maybe it's better to just move on and forget you.

there are certain things that i wanted to explain, wanted to say, i thought that maybe it would heal us and that we could rebuild. but maybe you don't understand what i'm trying to do, and i find it increasingly difficult to believe that you will even try to meet me halfway. so keep wallowing in your own hurt pride and rejecting me because it makes you feel marginally better. you are losing me in the process faster than before.

five things to say at the end of life between loved ones: 1) i forgive you; 2) do you forgive me? 3) I love you 4) good-bye; and 5) I'll be okay without you.

I can't keep living like this, half-waiting and hoping that we'll get back together. you have to try; you have to try and make us work and we need to hash out some issues. otherwise, i am trying really hard to let you go forever.

the truth?

i am happy.

Happy Anniversary

our first kiss

"u never remember these things...just pointing out one of your heroic flaws."

still here

still here. hanging on. I stopped talking to albert completely a month ago.

i got sindey's christmas card today. thanks, i don't know if there is enough time to send any cards before christmas.

happy holidays.