P.S.

I forgot to tell you that I just finished watching the 2nd half of "Heroes" season 1 at home. :)

Congrats!

Congrats to Sindey today! :) Boy or girl? = o I can't believe so much has happened.

sorry

hope that you are doing well. was just thinking of you today and feeling a little saddish (like a little radish). yestereday was just reading some stuff and ended up beating myself up again about everything that happened last year. i'm sorry.



just started third year, and just wanted to say sorry for not understanding med school life better when i was in college. i know that it was hard for you, and i'm sorry that i was far away and didn't give you more support. same for intern year, i know that it must be really hard for you and that you're doing your best. on one hand, i feel conflicted because i feel that maybe it's better that i was at stanford during 3rd year so u wouldn't be distracted and would have less to worry about -- and i would be sad that you didn't spend any time with me. on the other hand, it would have been nice if i had been able to see you when u got home at night and we could have just hung out in the quiet evenings.

Happy Birthday, Jey

Happy 26th Birthday, Jey!

my grandmother died a year ago on feb. 18, but i bet you didnt remember that. i regret not talking to you more during that last year about her, but it was hard for me to even try and i always felt like you weren't quite listening. i think about her everyday.

fix

i wanted to fix this, but you didn't understand me. maybe the only way that we can fix this is to talk to each other, but you were having none of that. you push me away, made me feel guilty (moving to san jose, i told you to follow your own path, wrapping your vacations around mine...well screw you, that's a cheap guilt trip).

so maybe the best thing is to stop believing that our relationship can be fixed, can be stronger than before, can be renewed. maybe it's better to just move on and forget you.

there are certain things that i wanted to explain, wanted to say, i thought that maybe it would heal us and that we could rebuild. but maybe you don't understand what i'm trying to do, and i find it increasingly difficult to believe that you will even try to meet me halfway. so keep wallowing in your own hurt pride and rejecting me because it makes you feel marginally better. you are losing me in the process faster than before.

five things to say at the end of life between loved ones: 1) i forgive you; 2) do you forgive me? 3) I love you 4) good-bye; and 5) I'll be okay without you.

I can't keep living like this, half-waiting and hoping that we'll get back together. you have to try; you have to try and make us work and we need to hash out some issues. otherwise, i am trying really hard to let you go forever.

the truth?

i am happy.